Job description of a potty training parent

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Job description of a potty training parent

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We all know that being a parent is a job that comes without any training manuals.


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And it’s probably the hardest one we’ll ever have.

Sure, we can ask for help and advice along the way, but we kind of just have to get on with it and hope we can work out how to best to do it.

When it comes to potty training then, we could look at it as a new ‘project’ that we have to undertake as part of the bigger role.

This got us thinking. If taking on the remit of toilet training your child was actually a new opportunity, what might the job description say?

And would you apply for it?!

Job Title: Potty training parent

Description
Parent wanted for the role of planner, organiser, cleaner-upper and management of the potty training process of one (or multiple) children.

The main areas of this role will be as follows:

  • Spotting the signs that toilet behaviour is appropriate and imminent (often RIGHT NOW)
  • Ensuring that a potty or toilet is always nearby (may need multiples and/or portable equipment on hand)
  • Teaching the child that the potty / toilet is not a big scary monster and it’s OK to ‘have a try’
  • Possibly having to also ‘have a try’ at the same time (this may mean that using the toilet in private may be suspended short-term)
  • Domestic administration of accidents (these will be frequent and often occur just as a clean set of clothes has been put on, or as a fresh cup of tea sits on the side going cold)
  • Inventing new songs or dances to celebrate having a try or a success (YouTube may be needed)
  • Watching children’s TV characters / teddies also learn to use the toilet (again, YouTube may be needed)
  • Managing and reporting on incentive schemes (in the form of stickers or reward charts)
  • Risk assessments (using step-stools, sitting on the toilet properly, ensuring sinks are not flooded)
  • Constant operation of machinery (washing machine and tumble driers)

Person specification
Will need to be a great communicator to set and follow a good toilet training routine, as well as teach the child how to live day-to-day without the use of a diaper.

Patience and perseverance will be critical to remaining calm when the process appears to be going off piste.

You will need to devote 100% of your time to asking, checking on and helping the child during this time. You will also find that any time not utilised for the actual process will be spent thinking or talking about ‘number ones or number twos’.

Possibility of promotion
Zero. In fact, it will feel like a demotion initially.

Length of term
As long as a piece of string. Sometimes the process is quick, for others it may take longer and require multiple attempts.

Previous experience
It helps if you are also already using a toilet fluently.

Remuneration
Zero. You will however be able to feel smug when the process is eventually successful.

Benefits
You will find that a chunk of your household outgoings are no longer spent on diapers.

Of course this is just a bit of fun, and of course we’d all take it on with great optimism and motivation.

DLM
DLM

2 Comments

  1. my daughter is 5 she got the unique syndrome. cant tell me if she needs to go to toilet. how can i train her

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